Yesterday my employer of 15+ years had another round of layoffs, I think the sixth or seventh since they started doing this last year. It was my turn this time. After 15+ years of service, and at the age of 55+, I was handed my severance package yesterday morning. This brings to the end one chapter of life that was started in March 1999 and it ushers in another.
To be honest, I saw this coming. I can now make public that throughout the course of this year, in my nearly-monthly meetings with my financial planner, I have been examining various retirement scenarios. It was sorely tempting to pull that trigger two months ago, but if I had I would have forfeited a severance package that would have come my way thru the inevitable layoff. They're downsizing, and the best guestimate that I have is that the workforce in Tucson with this employer will be, within two years, just barely half of what it once was some four years ago when the downturn in this industry started.
One thing my mother told me a month or so ago is that retirement isn't what you think it is. She's very right in that. I was beginning to hate going in to work. I didn't hate the job per se.....I love engineering and I have no regrets about choosing the profession in the first place. But when you see several rounds of layoffs and rumors of more to come, the workforce becomes demoralized. You start thinking about retirement. You wonder if it's time for the changes.
The changes of course, have been forced upon me, as I have seen them forced upon some others. Yes, I saw this coming, but I'll have to admit that maybe I'm not really ready for retirement. Maybe not just yet.
As I am typing this, I have been in touch with various recruiters. One week ago today I was called out of the blue by a Florida-based firm that is recruiting for contract positions. There is a rather lucrative opportunity in Phoenix that they want me to apply for, and I have already given them the green light on this. It's contract-to-hire.....it lasts for five or six months, and if they like me then I'll get a permanent offer. Sheila will have to run the household while I am up there, and I think she'll want to have the knot tied before I go. I don't know if this opportunity is a longshot or in the bag but you don't get these if you pass on them.
I think what I really needed was a sabbatical, and one right now seems assured. I took last week off for a vacation, not knowing that a forced one was imminent. I was hoping to hold off on this for a few more years, then go on my sabbatical, and decide later on if I was going to come out of retirement and be an engineer again or do something different like a part time job somewhere bagging groceries or stocking shelves.
Regardless, I am in a state of transition right now. I know some others who were forced down this road and there will most assuredly be more who follow. Some hard decisions will have to be made. Sheila would like to leave Tucson, and although I have found myself loving to live here these past 15+ years, it probably is time to consider a new town. I have several friends up in Phoenix and I have relatives on both sides in the Midwest. I would much rather remain in Arizona, but it may be desirable to move further north some and put some more mileage between here and the border when you consider what's been going on lately. I guess what I would really like to do is go into contracting, and work nine months out of the year and have three months off....working in other cities but coming home to Tucson between contracts. And then when I get tired of that, retire for good.
Anyhow....today was my first day of my "retirement", as I prefer to call it. I met with the financial planner again this morning (this was planned some time ago) and I don't need to be robbing my retirement savings just yet. Ten years ago I made it my mission to get one year's worth of house payments in the bank, and then I started working on getting my second year's worth in there as well. There's also additional funds I have access to that I am not counting towards that, which I may not have to tap at all seeing as how I have a very healthy 401k balance.
As for how I'm coping, I have a volunteer counselor from my church coming over tomorrow morning to visit with me. I have been a volunteer counselor for the past 2+ years and I guess I now am on the other end of that. This kind of transition, although doable, may not be easy on some days. I can tell you that today I have been both elated and depressed. Elated that I am free of the business conditions I've seen as of late, but depressed because I am, at the moment, not a practicing engineer. I know that I can't be an engineer forever and didn't want to for the rest of my life. I envisioned a retirement where there would be plenty of hiking, hunting and fishing......Arizona's good for all three, but for right now it's too hot to do any of these.
Meantime, I will be looking for contract engineering work in the weeks to come, but if a good permanent position comes along I would certainly entertain a return to that kind of work. I also should get caught up on some things in the house and to get it ready for my upcoming marriage, the date of which has not been set. For all we know we may just go downtown to the courthouse and get it over with.
I have to say that Sheila has really been a wonderful support for me. In the past I have unfortunately gotten used to womenfolk abandoning me whenever the going got tough. I've known for some time that Sheila is most definitely a keeper, and I don't need this kind of circumstance to have that proven to me. As I'm writing this, I guess what I really want in retirement is several years with her.
So......a new chapter in life is now here. It's a great unknown. It's both scary and exciting at the same time.
Forward I go.
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