Why I Don't Do Social Media

Every now and then the topic of social media will come up in my day to day life, and when it did over lunch a few days ago both of us stated that neither of us do it.  It also came up in a phone call last night.  I don't do Facebook or Twitter, I have no intention of doing either, and although I may have mentioned it here in this blog, I haven't said why.

The short answer is, I have better things to do.

The long answer follows.

I remember first hearing about Facebook back in 2008.  I got two invites, almost within one day of each other from people I knew well.  "You have to try this!  It's neat!"  I never bothered to check it out.  A large part of that was I was happy with how I was spending my time, and didn't want to take on any new endeavors.  As time went on, I kept hearing about it more and more, and now every business out there wants you to "like" them on Facebook.

We also have Twitter.  Again, I have better things to do.  I can't recall when I first heard about it though I'm going to say it was 2010.  Randy Bachman had a forum and he would send out tweets every now and then, which someone would repost.  Fred Turner was asked if he did social media, and he said no.  (He has better things to do with his time too).

Even then, what have I got to tweet about?  "I was on I-10 the other day and I saw some roadkill, and it was a deer!"?  On some days that's about as exciting as my life gets, and I don't complain about those days.

That said, both of those platforms have had some bad consequences for those who get involved in it.  A former employer of mine had someone over in a foreign country.  He posted some disparaging remarks about that country on his Facebook page.  To his surprise, that host country had their intelligence agency monitoring that, and they didn't like what they read.  He was forced out of that country in short order, and I'm not sure if he remained employed with us after that.

I have also read of longstanding friendships being destroyed.  I know of one of them personally, and I suspect that the person that caused that has turned some of his Facebook friends against others who would otherwise have been his friends.  With either that or Twitter, once you send something out, you can't take it back.  You cannot unring that bell.

Now are there positive uses of either of those platforms?  As big as they are, there would have to be.  I could have signed up for Facebook and continued my interaction with two of the April Wine band members.  As much as I love their music, there isn't much left I could ask either Myles Goodwyn or Brian Greenway.  I do have one question for Fred Turner which I'll have to remember to ask the next time I email him, but I don't need Facebook to do that.  Yes, it would have been nice to keep in touch with Myles and Brian, and to learn about their projects, but an internet search would turn that up anyway.

Then there's the privacy issue.  Is it really anybody's business who I'm friends with?  Most of my friends know who my other friends are and where I like to eat and what I like to do.  Yes, I write about these from time to time here, but it isn't that anyone reads this blog in the first place and to be honest I'm good with that (this blog is, these days, a platform for airing my opinions and random thoughts, and I have control over posted reactions).  I also maintain a ham radio blog, which might have even less of a following than this one, but if I'm on the air and I hear some rare DX I'll text my ham radio friends about it so that they too can get Assinassippia or Crapistan or whatever rare country I get.  So why do I need Twitter?

Talk radio host Rush Limbaugh has said on several occasions that the Twitterverse is not representative of mainstream America.  Some of the tweets I've seen posted on news sites bear that out.  I don't really care to read reactions from Hollywood as to what President Trump tweeted, and I don't need to read the reactions that some folks have for those Hollywood reactions.  If I want to know what some people are thinking there are comments on news articles, and from what I read a lot of people are as much anti-media as I am.

Anyway, there's the long answer.  I don't do Facebook, I don't do Twitter.

I have better things to do with my time.

Sunday, 8/9/20: Tucson AZ

I am doing much better today than I have for these past few days.  I am getting used to not being followed upstairs by a black furball who demanded a lot of attention from me.  I'm still sad, but I am not second-guessing myself.  Cancer is a cruel disease.  It was going to take a loyal friend away from me if I didn't intervene.  Moe died with cancer, but not from it.

I am also getting back into doing what I normally do on a weekend.  I went on the air Friday night and worked several European stations.  A new country emerged from that:  Luxembourg.  That one took three different series of attempts.  I've heard that station on before but he only activates during a major contest.  It was a special contest call....LX7I.

Yesterday afternoon I went back on.  Conditions weren't great here.  I could hear the east coast guys working Europe, but I couldn't hear the Europeans.  I took a break, returned later on, and got Europe a few more times.  And another new country:  Estonia.  That makes 94 countries I have worked from here and that magic number of 100 is closer yet.

Also last night, I cooked an Indian dish.  I love Indian cuisine and I'm thinking that I will soon make an attempt at making butter chicken from scratch.  The Patak brand of butter chicken sauce is delicious and you can find it at the Evil Walmart Neighborhood Market store.  Sheila tried to find it again yesterday at the Evil Walmart big box store down the road, but couldn't, so she brought back a different brand.  We didn't like it as much.  Yet this morning I finished the leftovers and it tasted great!  Chili will do that too.  So is the secret to make it the night before, and then wait until the next day?

The afternoon is still young here, so the next thing I will do is go out on the back patio with a good book and a cold brew.

I will miss Moe terribly for some time.

It's not easy losing a loyal friend.  Even if he was a Lieutenant Demander.

It's Getting Easier, but it Still Hurts

Yesterday I went in to work to take care of some things, came home for lunch, and worked from home the rest of the day.  I needed to do that because there were several instances of uncontrollable sobbing throughout the afternoon.  I did the WFH thing today, more sobbing, not as deep, not as frequent, and I'm still sad.  I keep thinking of that mental image of Moe lying on that table, the life gone out of him, and that look on his face.  And I tell myself that that one precious little kitten life that began 13 years ago has now returned to where it came from, and that Moe's suffering was cut short.

I have thought a lot about why this hurts so much, and I have an answer.  Moe was able to reach deep inside of my heart, more so than any other cat I've known before.  The way he curled up with me on his first night.  The way he consoled me when I broke up with Kathleen.  Aside from that one year in Vegas, Moe was with me every night I came home to cuddle.  And several was the time when Moe went to console a family member.

And yes, Larry cuddles too.  He instantly purred the very first time I picked him up.  Moe didn't purr instantly.  He had to be settled down.  He purred.  Then he wanted back inside that cage so he could play with Larry.

Larry is taking this very well.  I worry about him.  He has lost a lot of weight and is being successfully treated for a kidney issue.  Before that treatment, I was worried that we were going to lose him.  I had to fight back tears on that one.  His rebound is nothing short of miraculous.  He solicits pets and attention just like he used to.  He will cuddle, but he won't stay long.  He's got to run off and find a piece of cardboard to chew.  For him it's all about the simple pleasures.

Although the sadness still lingers, and although he won't jump in my lap any more to interrupt a blog entry, Moe is still in my heart.  He, along with Larry, brought me a lot of joy that had been missing since I had to take my sweet girl Sylvia in for her last vet visit.

Tomorrow I will be doing the WFH thing.  That's mainly because I have at least three meetings to do via Zoom, and I prefer to do them from here.  I'm going to try to get on 40 meters tomorrow afternoon as that 40 will open to Europe as sunset approaches, and Europe is having a contest.  I might also try after I post this, though sunset is still two hours away.  For all I know South America might be rolling in too.

Some advice that I got when I lost Sylvia:  find something fun to do when you're done sobbing.  Keep busy.  I have to follow that, because depression has hit some family members here on both sides, and I've had situational depression before.  I haven't needed a prescribed anti-depressant since 2014 and I have to be careful about not getting to needing one now.

Moe, the Lieutenant Demander: 3/23/2007 - 8/4/2020

Moe was taken to the vet this afternoon and from there was returned to his Creator.  He had good days over the weekend and a good day yesterday.  This morning he enthusiastically ate.

After that, he made five attempts at the litter box, and couldn't get anything out.  Confused and frustrated, he left the litterbox, made a few more attempts elsewhere, and failed.  He let out two painful meows, then threw up his breakfast.  At that point I knew it was time.

He was taken to the pet clinic where he met a peaceful end.  I watched the anesthesia take hold and knock him out, but wasn't sure I could watch him die.  I left the room, Sheila remained, and then the next injection came.  I went back in, he looked the same as when he was when I last saw him alive.  His eyes were wide open, staring into space, with a somewhat defiant look, yet peaceful at the same time.

I am convinced that his spirit remained above us for a while as he watched Shiela and I both cry.  We petted him some more, cried, and then left.  At that point he then finished his ascent, likely wondering why we were crying because that cruel disease no longer had hold of him.  I was not going to allow him to suffer.

I am at peace knowing that I did the right thing at the right time for the right reason.  Yet it's going to be hard this evening, going upstairs, and this time he's not going to follow me so that he can cuddle.  He did cuddle this morning but I knew he was in pain, and he didn't stay very long.  He wanted to go back to the front windowsill and sleep it off. 

I had thirteen years of memories with him.  All were wonderful, though he managed to vex me a few times.  He was a great cat.  He had attitude, spirit, he was sweet, he would hiss at the vet, and boss me around.  

My last words to him were:  Moe, your daddy loves you.

I said those more times than I can remember.

And Some of the Other News

It's been a rough couple of days, but there are other items that I feel the need to talk about. 

These past two weeks have seen some overtime (paid) at work.  My project is understaffed, our customer has lots of things they want from us, and that's because their customer wants those things.  There's no doubt that the program manager both at our end and at the customer end know that we are going beyond where we normally go and they're just as swamped as we are.  The effort is very important in my mind, and the teamwork has been awesome.

I've had a couple of discussions with the deputy program manager.  He appreciated the patience that we've all had, and I told him that he told us it was coming and we braced for impact.  I put in a couple of long days getting what's called the Master Verification Matrix done, and I learned Friday that I was nominated for an award, which means a lot. 

This weekend we have a breather.  I tried going on the air yesterday and I made some contacts, but my heart wasn't in it.  The news about Moe hit me really hard.  I spent time with him yesterday and again today, and there will be more this evening.  Every evening I am upstairs with Sheila and we are joined by Larry and Moe.  Both want attention and it was that way last night.

In one way I am at peace.  When I brought the boys home around Memorial Day weekend of 2007, I resolved that I was going to be a better owner for them than I was for Sylvia.  These guys would see the vet once or twice a year.  They were fed better food (Sylvia was on Science Diet but I learned that wasn't the best you could get) and these guys had premium food that had no rice or other grains mixed in it.  And of course, I spoiled them like I did Sylvia. 

When they go, if they get to talk to God, they will tell God that they had a great home and were well taken care of.  Maybe they might complain that there were a few more times that they could have gotten pets.  But on most days, they got to interrupt me from doing something so that they could get their loving.

What can I say?  I like cats.  I like dogs.  I never adopted a dog because I was between marriages for several years, and it wouldn't have been fair to whatever dog I would have taken in.  So it was cats, two of them to keep each other company while I was away at work, which they did, but I didn't think both of them would be as demanding as they turned out to be.  I thought Larry would be the wallflower and Moe would be the Lap Boss.  Wrong.  And being wrong like that is a good thing.

Yes, I'm having my moments.  The grieving has started.  It has to happen.  It has to run its course.  Grief is normal and it is necessary.  I've been down this road before.

That's all for now.  I need to get outside for a bit.

Some Sad News to Report

Yesterday we learned that one of our cats, Moe, has an agressive form of cancer and will not have very much longer to live.  Its emergence was sudden as that he passed a physical around Memorial Day and had a clean bill of health.  The Xrays don't lie.  He has bone cancer and there's nothing that can be done, aside from making him as comfortable as we possibly can.

This isn't the first time I've lost a pet and it won't be the last.  It's hard, you grieve, and you wonder if you're ever going to get another one who will bring you as much joy.  Then one day you either go to an adoption fair or you meet a young kitten or a young puppy and at that point, you've been had.

I can't tell you how much longer the Lieutenant Demander has.  All I can tell you is that he enjoyed life today.  All we can do is treat the symptoms, and he is responding well to the treatment.  He's as sweet as he ever has been.....he spent some time grooming me, which is the highest honor he will give anybody.

I'm at peace, but I also have my moments.  When he can no longer find joy in his life, then it will be time to send him back to his Creator, who blessed us with Moe's presence for over 13 years.

Larry, the Solicitor General (nicknamed that for the manner in which he solicits pets) is in good spirits, though is being treated for a kidney issue.  I thought we were going to lose him a few months back but that big turkey got his old self back and is just as demanding of attention as is Moe.

Moe, the Lieutenant Demander, would "angrily" demand attention with the way he meowed for it.  He really loved cuddling and he still does as of this afternoon.

It will not be easy to say goodbye to him, nor to Larry when his time comes.

Odds are that when the grieving is done, I'll meet some kitten who will steal my heart, and at that point I'm had.

We'll do what we can for you Moe.